


Graven Images

by cruisedirector, CyberMum



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Literary Reference, Poetry, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-02
Updated: 2002-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-06 23:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruisedirector/pseuds/cruisedirector, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMum/pseuds/CyberMum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a midnight dreary, Janeway's crew tried to lighten the mood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Graven Images

**Author's Note:**

> With apologies to Paramount and to Edgar Allan Poe.

Once upon a midnight sleazy  
Kathryn Janeway got quite queasy  
Over all her cheap and easy  
Holographic lover boys.  
Though her men were fine designer  
Specimens, she missed the finer  
Points of sweaty love, with minor  
Heartaches mixed with major joys.  
So this dreary night found Janeway  
Pacing down Voyager's main way  
To the quarters of Chakotay  
Where she rapped upon his door.  
"Commander, you know it's killing  
Me to live without your thrilling  
Courtship. If you would be willing...?"  
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."

When she heard his declaration  
In response to her flirtation,  
Kathryn felt intense frustration  
Deeply, down into her heart.  
For she had never expected  
To be totally rejected  
Or feel forlornly affected  
By refusal on his part.  
"Oh Commander," she implored him,  
"This is not an impulse or whim,  
Nor a quickie or interim  
Hiatus in our cold war.  
I have now come to comprehend  
That you are more than my best friend.  
To prove that is what I intend."  
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."

Baffled and a bit heartbroken,  
Kathryn rued the words she'd spoken,  
Wishing she'd not reawoken  
Emotions she'd put behind.  
Though she did not feel like fighting,  
Just because his non-requiting  
Rebuffs seemed so harsh and biting,  
Anger made her less than kind.  
"Must I assume that you lied to  
Me when on New Earth you tried to  
Swear your fealty, at my side to  
Stay, my angry warrior?  
Does your promise mean so little,  
Is your oath just air and spittle  
Rather than a true committal?"  
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."

Kathryn gazed into his eyes and  
Sadly sighed, "I understand.  
Things seldom end up as we've planned.  
So. Is this how it will end?"  
She turned to watch the stars stream by  
And bit her lip. She would not cry,  
She'd get through this, she wouldn't die;  
She'd continue to pretend.  
After all for seven long years  
Across Delta Quadrant frontiers,  
She was the one who'd voiced the fears  
Chakotay chose to ignore.  
She took a breath, lifted her chin  
And told him with a quirky grin,  
"We'll never know what might have been."  
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."

Though often a man of one word,  
Still Kathryn thought it was unheard  
Of him to repeat some absurd  
Term from Edgar Allan Poe.  
But just then she saw a flitter  
Like feedback from a transmitter,  
And noticed the Doc's emitter  
Attached to Chakotay's toe.  
"Commander, you're artificial!  
Now there must be an official  
Inquiry, and quick judicial  
Punishment, for I deplore  
Whomsoever made this double;  
He is in a world of trouble,  
I'll reduce his rank to rubble..."  
Fake Chak burbled, "Nevermore."

The Captain gave her direction:  
"Shut down this holo-projection  
And perform a full inspection  
Of Voyager's computer."  
Holo-Chakotay disappeared  
And Kathryn Janeway commandeered  
The electronic souvenir  
Of her ersatz suitor.  
"Voyager's systems are on line.  
Would you restate or redefine  
Your last command?" "Oh never mind,"  
Said Janeway, "I'll go explore."  
She turned to leave and then turned back:  
"Computer, Janeway, coffee, black,  
And make it hot." "Don't give me flak,"  
Quoth Computer. "Nevermore."

Storming down to engineering,  
Kathryn saw crew disappearing  
Into quarters, as if fearing  
To arouse the captain's wrath.  
"Who would have the gall to harrass  
Me, or would want to embarrass  
Me? Dalby? Torres and Paris?"  
She pondered, then did the math.  
"Tom's got holographic guile.  
Seven keeps Chak's face on file.  
Since they've gotten Doc's mobile  
Emitter, he knows the score.  
Only Torres could have programmed  
Overrides that wouldn't get jammed,  
With Tuvok's help. They can be damned!  
I'll trust my crew nevermore."

On further investigation  
Into the holo-creation  
She added to the equation  
Both Neelix and Harry Kim.  
The whole command team was busted.  
Kathryn Janeway was disgusted.  
"Is there no one whom I've trusted  
Who's not guilty?" She looked grim.  
"I'm sorely tempted to confine  
This underhanded crew of mine  
To the brig. Instead I'll assign  
You to scrub the ship's warp core.  
And if you had any notion  
Of the chance of a promotion,"  
(Harry Kim showed some emotion)  
Quoth the Captain, "Nevermore."

Just when things were getting creepy  
And Harry was getting weepy,  
Onto the bridge stumbled sleepy  
Chakotay, who'd dozed right through  
All the excitement and fury  
Of the trial without jury;  
Since his eyes were slightly blurry,  
He stepped in without a clue.  
"Captain, I can plainly see that  
You suspect a mutiny, but  
I wish someone would tell me what  
Treason our crew had in store."  
"Chakotay, how could I do less?  
Are you even real? Get shoeless.  
Where's the emitter? I'm clueless,  
But you'll fool me nevermore."

"Captain, I find it very odd  
That you wish to see me unshod;  
However, I wholly applaud  
This most welcome change of heart."  
"Oh, Commander," Janeway replied.  
"Don't be absurd." And verified  
It was him, whilst her terrified  
Crew tried quickly to depart.  
Chakotay'd had about enough  
Of mysteries and blind man's bluff  
And chose this moment to hang tough  
Which he'd never done before.  
"You've played this game for seven years.  
You've argued protocol and fears.  
You've forsworn sex for our careers."  
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."

Complained Janeway, "This is a sham.  
Awhile ago, your hologram  
Remained as silent as a clam  
When I asked him to love me."  
"Uh, Captain," Tom Paris cut in.  
"Chakotay knew nothing. The sin  
Lies with all of us. Discipline  
Us, but please, let him go free.  
We have witnessed your uptightness,  
And thought it might bring some brightness  
If we made for you a likeness  
Of a man whom you adore."  
Kathryn was extremely puzzled.  
"If you hoped that I'd get nuzzled,  
Tell me, why would you have muzzled  
Holo-Chak with 'Nevermore'?"

Torres was apologetic.  
Harry Kim just looked pathetic.  
Paris said, "Well, the synthetic  
Chakotay was planned with care."  
"We felt, you see," explained the Doc,  
"(And we consulted with Tuvok)  
It was time you both had a talk."  
Janeway fixed him with a glare.  
Neelix shuffled in dejection.  
Seven said, "You seek perfection,  
But we felt that a rejection  
Might just shake you to the core."  
She paused, then said with compunction,  
"I must confess at this junction  
That there was a slight malfunction.  
But we promise nevermore."

Janeway raged against this chaffing,  
But Chakotay burst out laughing.  
"Kathryn, ere you start re-staffing  
Our bridge crew, I'd like to meet  
This holographic version of  
Me who tried to decline your love.  
I'd like to give that lout a shove,  
Make him kneel and kiss your feet."  
Janeway's first reaction was to  
Think that he was teasing her, too.  
"I expected better from you  
Than the guffaws of a boor."  
But Chakotay smiled sincerely,  
Said, "Kathryn, I love you dearly,  
But if you can't see that clearly,  
I'll plead with you nevermore."

Unusual animation  
And this ardent declaration  
Proved Chakotay's protestation  
Of love was to be believed.  
Janeway turned back to face her crew.  
"I see that I did misconstrue  
Your motives, therefore all of you  
Are absolved." They were relieved.  
"Dismissed." She waved them all away.  
"I love you too, my Chakotay,  
But ere our love we do display,  
One thing I must underscore.  
You have to promise me although  
It might be fully apropos,  
Never cite Edgar Allan Poe."  
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."


End file.
